But She Wants You
by welsee
Summary: HBP from Tonks' point of view. Fastpaced, humorous, and enjoyable. Scattered mature language and themes and detailed romance. NEW CHAPTER UP! ENJOY! Please R&R, many thanks! NTRL
1. Introduction

this is just the introduction to the story, but please read it, otherwise the rest won't make sense. xD

all characters and basic plot copyright JK Rowling, an amazing author.

"Oh- what? Dammit. Alright, butterbeer then." a woman sighed in disappointment and half-heartedly retrieved a grimy glass bottle from a counter. She didn't know why she was here. And quite honestly, she could not remember when she had decided to enter the Hog's Head pub. On any account, she was glad that she had ended up in the quiet and deserted Hog's Head and not the popular Three Broomsticks, where couples and friends talked and laughed and drunk, unaware of the complete heartbreak Nymphadora Tonks was going through. Tonks did not need to be reminded of the many times she and Kingsley or Dawlish (or, once, Mrs. Weasley, who had then insisted upon a witch's night out in Hogsmeade) had enjoyed a firewhiskey and a laugh or too in the Three Broomsticks. To remember how it felt before… well, before this had happened… was pain, pain with no relief.

The mousy-haired witch sidled over to the table farthest away from any life forms (well, thought Tonks smugly, unless you count those sugar packets, jumping up and down and purring to each other), a round wooden table squeezed into the farthest corner beside a rickety old stool. She sat with her forehead touching the table and her arms folded awkwardly in front of her head and struggled to remember what had happened only a few moments before.

She had been on duty, guarding Hogsmeade, dizzy with a slight hangover, when Dawlish… Dawlish? Yes, she was sure it had been him… had clamped a hand on her shoulder and told her that her break time had finally arrived. Her heart, hungry to drown its problems in alcohol, had forced her barely conscious body to step into the Hog's Head for a fire whiskey, (oh god, had she really plowed into the counter and knocked over that glass? Tonks banged her head on the table as a weak punishment) only to be informed that all the fire whiskey in the shop had been bought by the witch in the opposite corner who was now nursing what seemed to be a mutated tortoise with a bottle of it. Tonks thought of Rubeus Hagrid, who would be quite inclined to do the same thing, and snorted into her butterbeer.

It felt foreign to laugh. Tonks hadn't genuinely laughed in two months or so, although she had forced giggles when Hermione or Ginny tried to make it so during her visits to the Burrow. Mrs. Weasley had been very kind, ladling out endless bowls of onion soup and comforting her… oh, shit, she was thinking about him again… her mind protested, but her heart didn't listen. She saw him, smiling a big, broad grin, happy and loving. The few stray gray hairs that peppered his tidy head of blondish hair made Tonks melt… she couldn't stand it, she loved him, she _needed_ him…

Tonks felt something sticky on her neck, and upon rubbing it, she discovered that the butterbeer that she had laughed into had dribbled down her chin and dried, unnoticed by the sweaty, crumpled napkin Tonks was clutching tightly in her left fist. She sighed for the second time that morning and drew her wand. "_Scourgify_," she mumbled, and exited the pub, smiling and nodding politely when Savage asked her if she was alright.

i know, positively wonderful. ;33 a bit boring, eh? well, i needed to give a teeny bit of background. reviews would be awesome! thanks!


	2. Morning Shower

this chapter is really short, i'm so sorry, but i hope you enjoy it all the same.

loose plot and characters copyright JK Rowling.

It was really quite boring, standing around in Hogsmeade all day. Indeed, Tonks had one day off every fortnight, but she always wasted the precious time sleeping. It gave her a sickening, self-pitying pleasure to know that she wasn't doing anything productive. It was heavenly evil.

She woke in the very early hours of a Sunday to an irritating melody coming from outside the door to her flat that of the cause she did not know nor care. She might have thought the sound pleasant if it had not awoken her. Annoyed that she had received only a few hours of sleep, she moaned, swore, and sat up, tucking her chilly feet into the fuzzy Chudley Cannons slippers that were waiting, haphazardly thrown about, by the side of her bed. Picking at the crusty sleep stuck on her eyelashes, she stomped over to the nearest window. Tonks pulled open the curtains and the window itself, letting in a bracing mid-October wind. Only yesterday she had found Harry Potter in Hogsmeade, threatening that complete joke Dung for stealing a sack of delicate trinkets from Grimmauld Place. Grudgingly she had tried to placate Harry, but, she had a hunch, to no avail.

She turned into the dingy little flat's bathroom and stared into the mirror. She looked horrible, she knew; there were heavy gray bags under her eyes, her cheeks were pale and hollow, and grease covered her nose and hairline. Dropping her head so that her sink, slowly, hazily, came into view, her tummy gurgled and forced up last night's 3 bottles of firewhiskey. Ick. She needed a shower.

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Tonks stripped effortlessly as the steam wafted from behind the violently pink shower curtain and made her body uncomfortably sticky. _Bip_, there went the black tank, embellished with the words "the Weird Sisters". _Ploop_, bye-bye, baggy jeans. _Swish_, the black knickers drifted away from her hand. _Plop_, the sketchy black lacy bra (manufactured in some-3rd-world-country that Tonks had purchased from a street vendor on a dare from poor, restless Sirius… oh god, he was dead… ) landed on the tiled floor.

Tonks stepped into the moldy old shower. To her dismay, she could still hear the melody that she had noticed earlier, even through the pounding water. Shrugging, she began to sing Lady Greensleeves (which she had been forced to memorize back in muggle grade school, before she had attended Hogwarts) in a falsetto opera voice in a disastrous attempt to cheer herself. She washed and sung and slipped and laughed. _Wow, I'm happy_, she thought, and realized that she liked to be by herself. She could mull things over without fear of interruption or judgment.

_"My men were clothed all in greeeeen, _

_And they did ever wait on theeeeeee; _

_All this was gallant to be seeeeeen, _

_And yet thou wouldst not love meeeeeee."_

She began her own wild rant of self-pity, making madcap connections between the lyricist of Greensleeves and herself, laughing and sobbing and screaming the song…

_"Your vows you've broken, like my heart, _

_Oh, why did you so enrapture meeeee? _

_Now I remain in a world apart _

_But my heart remains in captivityyyyy..."_

Just as Tonks reached a particularly sorrowful part of the song, she recognized the sound of paws and the calming melody became louder. There was a burst of light, and Tonks, terrified, peeked out from behind the shower curtain.

"Wotcher." she mumbled to herself, squinting, blinded by the light in front of her. Then she realized what it was…

"Oh, _shit_."

a/n: sorry, i know that was aweird, short first chapter. i hope it hooked ya, though. x3


	3. An Orderly Message

**a/n: this chapter is a bit longer than the others, and, in my opinion, a lot more interesting.**

**Characters and loose plot copyright JK Rowling : D**

The Patronus in front of her barked, agitated. It had, Tonks realized, been very polite by respecting her privacy, but only to the point that she had shown no signs of answering to it. Poor thing, it had been waiting outside of her flat for ten minutes, at the least.

The monster of a dog that sat in front of her growled impatiently, its werewolf teeth gleaming with ivory light. It was his Patronus, she knew. But… why send for her this way? Something must be wrong. He was in the Order… oh, god… It barked again, and Tonks tried desperately to sober herself. The soothing sound and light gently emanating from the beast and drowning her bathroom did not help in her struggle.

"Yes?" she said, tentatively. It was then that she noticed a small note, gently tied with silver string, perched between the Patronus' front teeth. The poor thing looked exasperated.

Tonks reached out to fetch the note. As she tugged at the folded parchment, her little finger brushed the side of the werewolf's silvery, translucent mouth.

An immediate sensation overcame the young woman, stark naked behind the shower curtain that even still she clutched, making her quake. She felt love, love stronger than any kind and every kind she had ever known, searing her flesh, veins, and skin as it soared through her body. She trembled harder, barely noticing that she was crying out from the pain and ecstasy of it all. She saw his face in her mind's eye and shrieked in agony and joy as her body, mind, and soul hurtled through hell and heaven, coastering through everything she had ever lived.

The Patronus pulled away, Tonks having retrieved the note. As soon as she was no longer touching the beast, the feeling stopped short. _Good Merlin_, she thought, _I've gone insane_.

As if reading her thoughts, the Patronus looked at her apologetically. As soon as it had, it turned round, and barreled through the door, dissolving upon passing her bed.

"Good lord." Tonks breathed heavily, swaying back and forth, staring at the bubbles beneath her, fizzling by the shower drain.

The note, meanwhile, was growing steadily wetter. The inked initials on the front, N. T., were running and dyeing the silver ribbon black. Choosing to forget what she had just experienced and remember it later, when she had some time to think, she forced her jittery hands to help her open the letter. Her un-polished, chewed-down fingernails hastened to rip open the wax seal. As the parchment magically unfolded and replaced itself in Tonks' grasp, she recognized Dumbledore's hand.

The letter read,

_Dear Nymphadora, _

_A Hogwarts student by the name of Katie Bell has been cursed by an ancient necklace that is believed to have been purchased from a store in Knockturn Alley called Borgin and Burkes. She is quite unwell and has been transferred to St. Mungo's upon Madame Pomfrey's orders. There is much to discuss and I would quite benefit from your attendance to an Order meeting tonight at headquarters. I trust and hope that Remus' Patronus reached you safely. _

_Quite yours, Albus Dumbledore_

_Damn,_ Tonks thought. _This is horrible_. And suddenly she realized that she was still standing in the shower, the water bouncing off her back. She reached around and turned the water off, toweled down, and dressed quickly. All the while she dreaded the meeting tonight, where she would have to face a gaggle of witches and wizards who cared about her and who tried desperately to pretend everything was quite dandy in her life.

_But, worst of all, _Tonks thought, as she sat gingerly on her bed after stubbing her toe on a nearby table, her head in her hands, _I'll have to see him._


End file.
